Home > Bronx > Ever Wonder If You Can Piss And Run At The Same Time?

Ever Wonder If You Can Piss And Run At The Same Time?

This is one of those mysteries that probably would have been on Mythbusters, but I cracked the code before the guy with the Colonel Sanders/Monopoly Man mustache got to it. I have this run I take in my neighborhood, well, the Greater East Central Bronx area- it’s far, like four or five miles. I break it down into about 9 laps, stopping for a block or two in between and then off again. So, I’m on my eighth lap, the last good run, where the ground is all even and it’s about a mile. A mile in this lonely industrial neighborhood where no one should be walking, or even stopping. Commerce Ave, you ever been? I keep it moving. It doesn’t matter if it’s day or night, the area has a Scooby Doo/Alice In Wonderland trippy vibe to it. Like I might have to fight the Jabawockee around the next turn. That’s my motivation to not stop.
The last time I went running, I was on Commerce and I could start to feel the bladder start to press. I was not trying to stop, I would have totally lost my momentum, I hate that. So I think, if a person’s thrusting their legs back and forth, can they release their bladder. POP EXPERIMENT time. I was wearing basketball shorts, so I didn’t even have to pull them down or anything, I was slick with it…like when a chick just pulls her panties to the side to have quick sex. When I first tried go, nothing happened. That was just trial one though, I wouldn’t give up that easily. I had to envision one inch ceramic bathroom tiles and porcelain stuff. The second time was the charm (I should have considered trajectory a little more carefully though). I don’t know why it wasn’t apparent to me that if I’m pissing and running at the same time, there’s a good chance I’ll pee on my leg, but never I mind, this was in the pursuit of science. Besides it was laundry day (by day, I mean, night) and what’s a little urine after 50 minutes of sweat, it probably just slid right off…or evaporated, I was hot.
This is a revolutionary scientific breakthrough for all citizen of earth. Any time someone’s running or jogging in deserted areas and they have to urinate, I can assure them there’s no need spoil their flow, just go. A new gadget will be created for the everyday Flo Jo’s out there – patent pending, of course.

  1. July 2, 2010 at 1:45 am

    This is pretty disgusting!!!!!

    • July 2, 2010 at 1:49 am

      LMFAOOO! You’re just jealous that you can’t aim, spray and shoot.
      Don’t be hating.

  2. Dee
    July 2, 2010 at 4:51 am

    Lmao…..I’ve always wondered this!

    • July 2, 2010 at 6:10 am

      DEAD @ Dee, I’m not even surprised about that.

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