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Foodie FAIL

February 4, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

For whatever reason, some foods effect me in really bad and weird ways. Ways that don’t make any sense to me. (No this has nothing to do with the toilet, you can relax…) When I eat certain fruits like hard peaches, cherries, plums or pears or pineapples, EVEN APPLES, the inside of my mouth and tongue get irritated, it feels like there’s a thin layer of film has be removed and my mouth’s a little more exposed. (Soft peaches, cherries, plums or pears are fine though.) It sounds kind of weird, people usually say, “just stop eating that stuff,” but I don’t feel it rises to that point [yet.] Usually it only lasts for about five to ten minutes, starting about five to ten minutes after eating, then it’s over. That’s not so bad, but it does get worst, I can smoke or drink til the cows come home, with no problem, but give me two or more pieces of fried fish and I’m reaching for the asthma pump and my chest and shoulders are all tight. [Can you explain that one?] I have a history of asthma, since birth, but it has never been intense or something in the forefront of my mind because I very rarely ever (to never) get attacks. From the ages of 5 to 15, my asthma was completely dormant, it came back when I was in high school-once or twice here and there, but always manageable. Then one day, years later, I’m at my grandmother’s house going IN on a plate of fried whiting and potatoes, until I realize my breathing is becoming labored. I knew it was an attack, but I yet to associate the two. So I had fish a couple more times, the next time I only had one piece though: no effect. The following time I had two pieces, again at my grandmother’s house (you can’t trust just anybody’s seafood), I walked home, made a phonecall and the girl asked me, “why are you moaning into the mic…” That kind of tipped me off that, “I might have a problem…” I had to confirm, so when I had three pieces of fish the next week, me and my tense and raised shoulders were definitely sure. Now, I’m very wary whenever I try fish [TWSS]. I don’t eat any other kind of fish, but fried, so I don’t know how the others’ would effect me- but I kind of want to find out. That’s somewhat masochistic, but I want to know. Now I’m learning about another food allergy I’ve developed, GUACAMOLE and CHIPS! How sad is this. Now let me clarify, I can eat guacamole in dishes, but when I just eat it by itself with salty tortilla chips, I feel holy like hell. You know how it feels to have food poisoning, when you feel sick in your head, dizzy, sweating, breathing hard, the whole nine yards… That’s how Chipotle’s guac and chips leave me. I confirmed this on the second go-around, I’m not messing with that a third time, my grandma’s whiting was worth the experiment, this would be like cutting onions  solely to make myself cry. I was in Grand Central Terminal earlier cursing the day avacadoes were invented, mad at the whole country of Mexico. I had to buy a sprite, the brown paper bag was going to double as a barf bag-just in case.  Throwing up, to me, is like wasting money and that’s never cool, Throwing is especially uncool when you’re on a crowded train. I think there’s something about the avacado, lime and salt, in that meal that makes me react that way. It’s like all of the ingredients continue to emulsify and combine with my stomach acid to make a witch’s brew in my gut. I have learned my lesson, some of these foods are off the menu, forever out-of-season. However, I really can’t see myself not eating apples and peaches, that’s just plain ridiculous, I’ll eat in moderation…or something.

PS: I have a friend who’s lips swell up when she eats bananas… [insert joke here]

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  1. February 4, 2010 at 3:45 am

    Is that friend me? lol.!
    Good post. But I think it could be all in your head. Or maybe you’re just allergic to certain things.

    • February 4, 2010 at 4:31 am

      Lmao @ Is that friend me. I could barely understand you, them bananas got you sounding like you just had some collagen lip injections..lmao You ain’t Octomom..//
      NO SUCKA, it’s not all in my head….hmm…yet I have no tangible evidence…lmao I pinky swear I’m telling the troof! I’m allergic to a lot of things, we have some in common, you know: Beyonce, Uggs, ground provisions…lmao
      Thanx for the comment.

  2. February 4, 2010 at 6:37 am

    hmmmmm…interesting def weird but look who we are talking about. Not to many normal things about you…lol *kisses* btw you better not stop eating peaches!

    • February 4, 2010 at 6:50 am

      LMAO @ me/weird/normal. You get a gold star for your vast knowledge of Rayology…lmao.
      Yeah that peach line was for you..:*

  3. Dee
    February 4, 2010 at 7:59 am

    *looks down* I saw your text this morning, I felt so bad! lol

    • February 4, 2010 at 8:02 am

      LMAO…I was in some pain. As soon as we parted yesterday, I felt twice as bad. SMH..That 5 train ride up to 125 was really touch-and-go for a minute. #LessonLearned

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