Home > Fashion, He Must Be A Native, Mockurazzi, NYC > I Can See Your Entire Ass In Those Jeans, Part 5: “Gone Global”

I Can See Your Entire Ass In Those Jeans, Part 5: “Gone Global”

December 18, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

I mentioned Aleppo, Syria in the first post of this series because one of my twitter/ blogger friends, Elaine Z., is from there and all the way on the other side of the world guys are doing the same damn thing and looking just as stupid.  It’s a fashion and societal act of defiance for rebels without a cause-or belts. This is what Elee writes:

I’m a 23 year old girl living in Syria Aleppo, and yes a good looking well dressed fashionable guy can really attract my eye and make me feel blessed to meet him…

But this I don’t understand, it happens here too and in a weird way… Why do guys have to do this, showing all people around him a huge part of his underwear… Those guys really wear jeans 2 sizes larger than theirs real size to make this happen, the pants goes down and Bam, you get blind when you see white boxer with red hearts on, or blue one with yellow bears on!  I saw that lots of times and I went like WTF? The answers came like, “maybe it’s comfy” or “maybe it’s the fashion!” Damn! If it’s comfortable, which I doubt believe, manage to wear a long shirt over it to cover! And/or who the hell told you that it’s fashionable?

All I can say that it sucks and none of the girls around me find it attractive! So please guys, stop doing it for the sake of our eyes!! You’re ruining the beauty of your style with this thing!  Who cares to know what the design is???

I thought Elee’s part about the boxers with red hearts and yellows bears is funny, living in New York, I’ve seen worst. And  yes, I mean worst, let’s just leave it at that.  I often thought to myself, as well, is it comfortable to wear you pants so low, I actually asked somebody before and this is what he said verbatim, “ahhhh, naaaahh, like…you know, it’s coool, you know?…” After that, I didn’t pry, I just gave up. Yeah, it can be comfortable letting it all hang out…in that case, let’s where pajamas to school and work and say “eff it.” Eventually though, you begin to fight gravity because the lower your pants are ,the less things you can have in your pockets. When I was in Europe, I remember seeing and thinking the same thing, “damn, it went global…” You know, I don’t know which side of the Atlantic is worst, it doesn’t help that the guys in Europe wear man purses and kiss in the cheek too…

In my best cheesy car salesman voice,  “But wait, there’s more: from the people that brought us Uggs, Nicole Kidman, “a dingo ate my baby” and Outback Steakhouse, we have Bonds boxers. They’re designed for the bloak the fancies his trousers down under…his ass.”

When I first saw this video I couldn’t tell if it was a PSA against low-hanging pants or an endorsement.

A commercial like this would never hit the airwaves in America for the fact that too much about this style is rooted in the ghettos of the inner-city and this would seem like an endorsement for all of the negative connotations that are associated with it.I once saw a gay girl in The Village with a high-cut jacket, some dirty, corroded uggs and her oversized pants hanging far from her ass. (It wasn’t cool.) She perpetuated like 4 stereotypes at once.

I do remember being a junior high/high school student and wearing my clothes somewhat sloppily, pants falling a bit, belt: maybe, maybe not, but I grew out of that real quick. That style for me wasn’t even a fashion trendy thing though, it was just immaturity and laziness. This is just one of those things that is indicative of person’s entire personality, like people with yellow (green and brown teeth), you can’t imagine they live in a sparkling clean and neat. No, you think yuck mouth’s treats their general hygiene the same as their oral hygiene. I think of this jeans thing in the same way: you’ve thrown in the towel fashion-wise and you’re raising a white flag that reads, “I live to hold up the block and I will never wear a suit to work.

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  1. Maria Velez
    December 18, 2009 at 4:22 am

    About the pants sagging…Boys and men alike need to know where this “style” came from. It started in jails!! A professor of mine used to be a psychologist for incarcerated criminals about 20 years ago. In the jails, only the guys who were the “bitches” (excuse my bluntness) were forced to wear their pants sagging below their ass to show that they were “taken” recently! This is sad and I can’t imagine how many people my professor saw as “taken” once she came into the real world!! She told us that she would look to the left and see a group of guys all with their pants sagging and she just wanted to go up to them and give them her moral support because she understood that they were “taken against their wills”!! Hilarious yet sad!! This is not a style or a trend and it needs to be stopped now!! Also Tamika…I’m a plus sized girl..I was wondering if you can make a column about how big girls should NOT WEAR TIGHTS WITH A SHORT SHIRT!! LOL For Real…That shit looks disgusting and as a “phat” (lol) girl I would neva do that…Please warn all my fellow fat-fats…That shit is def not cool!!

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