Home > Fashion, He Must Be A Native, Mockurazzi, NYC > I Can See Your Entire Ass In Those Jeans, Part 1: March Of The ‘Penguin Walk’

I Can See Your Entire Ass In Those Jeans, Part 1: March Of The ‘Penguin Walk’

December 14, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

YO DUDE! Why is it that I can see your entire ass in those jeans. Pull’em up or stay your low-life ass in the house. I don’t understand guys my age (and older) that still do that. What kind of message are you sending out? This is how you want people to view you? You will never leave the ‘hood if people can tell what kind of drawers you wear just by looking at your ass. (By hood, I mean the wool you’re pulling over your eyes if you really thinks that’s acceptable clothing, whether you’re from Harlem, Greenwich, Connecticut or Aleppo, Syria) … And why the five-pound over-jeweled counterweight you call a belt.? It serves no function or purpose- it’s at your calf! The only purpose it could serve is ensuring that your dick head doesn’t pop out through the pee hole in your boxers when you stand up too fast. How must you see yourself to think this is how and man, a boy should look! You’re the epitome of a societal malignancy. I saw a white guy on 34th Street  a couple days ago when I was with a friend , walking in the cold with no jacket, no belt with his pants falling slightly and step he took revealed a little more crack. It’s definitely not just a racial issue anymore, that guy had to have felt the breeze rushing down his crack, it was like 36 degrees out…what people will do in the pursuit of bad fashion never ceases to amaze me.

I always think if these guys (and some girls) could really see how they look in the street, walking, waddling rather, like March Of The Penguins: The Denim Edition, then they would know how stupid they look. [Big Phat FAIL] Then these guys have the audacity to sit on the bus or train seats nearly bare-assed, that’s scandalous, just as nasty as this girl.
I’m not even going to get into the societal impact and influences, how long can we blame rappers for the things you do. just because Jeezy, Weezy and Kanye wear their pants under their ass doesn’t mean you have to do it too. Are you going to rain on Taylor Swift’s parade too and date birdbrains with buzz cuts then impregnate the entire South- everyone can’t pull that off. I don’t even want to blame rappers for what goes on in the hoods on America (and beyond), that’s so 90’s. It’s time for us to take responsibility for our own actions, appearance and the repercussion of such. It’s just like the family and friends of anorexics blaming the modeling industry, eventually personal responsibility has to come in to play… to be continued..

*post script* In the picture above: not only is the guy’s pants off his ass and he’s sitting on a metal seat in an NYC Public hospitals emergency room, his shoulders and posture  illustrate the messages  he’s sending out, at-large. The saddest (or funniest) part about the bottom picture is that the guy’s left hand makes it look like he’s really walking around with his cock out on Canal Street, or something. I don’t even know how this is physically possible because book bags make your clothes ride up and down, eventually he’s going to have a malfunction. Shame.

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  1. December 14, 2009 at 3:44 am

    I have often wondered if those that ‘dress’ the way you described realize that this particular ‘fashion’ started in prisons as a way of showing one’s -shall we say- availability and willingness for ‘love’? Also, have they ever looked around and noticed that individuals that are respected in their positions in society don’t associate with those that follow these extreme fashion faux pau’s. I am willing to bet that all want to be respected in life, and a good start is to not be a ‘follower’. But maybe they have their ‘gangs’ to substitute for respect.

    • December 14, 2009 at 8:24 am

      Great comment! And yes I do know the origins of the trend (sadly to say) That’ll be in my upcoming post on Wednesday: I Can See Your Entire Ass In Those Jeans: “A History: Poverty, Booty And Criminal Intent” STAY TUNED!

  2. December 14, 2009 at 5:17 am

    ROTFL I totally feel you on this I don’t know how this became a trend.

  3. December 14, 2009 at 6:59 am

    boy do kids need to change these things. what culture that came from the trend is bad.

  4. Pie
    December 14, 2009 at 8:23 am

    I don’t understand it either. There’s fashion and then there’s this. We had it in the UK (well, London anyway) for a while, but I haven’t spotted one for several months, so I have to assume the Yoot have moved onto something else.

    The most interesting ones to watch are the skinny guys like the one in your picture who we’d call a streaky piece of piss ‘cos he’s so thin. As they don’t have the ballast for the jeans to hang on to, It could only be the unexplained defiance of gravity or careful planning that enables them to not only stand, but WALK with that style without the trousers dropping to the knees faster than Tiger Woods’ women.

    • December 14, 2009 at 5:39 pm

      I’m telling it must be Newton’s third law or something. The style is ridiculous…and yeah, I know it’s every, the shit’s gone global…I’m writing about that too..soon.
      Thanx for the comment.

  1. January 14, 2010 at 10:54 am

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