Home > Daily Random, NYC > Random Thoughts About Gay Marriage From An NYC Dad.

Random Thoughts About Gay Marriage From An NYC Dad.

December 7, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

My blogger/ twitter friend Mateo/@MCiscart passed along one of his random rantings for me to post and comment on, 12/04/09:
This Thursday, like every other Thursday morning for the past three months has been more or less the same.  After dropping my SLMB off at school I grab the AM New York for a quick train read on my way to school. On page three there’s an article about the gay marriage proposal not passing, which in itself can be seen as basic news, though while reading this article I ran pass a passage, that to me seems very disturbing.  Maggie Gallagher, director of the National Organization for Marriage, which opposed the bill said, “This is a huge and magnificent win by an unexpectedly large margin…It puts the nail in the coffin of the idea that the culture is changing.” This quote to me is very troubling, maybe its the fact that I’m currently reading about W.E.B Dubious and J.W. Johnson, both who part of black civil rights movements in the early 1900’s.  This quote for me symbolizes the mind set that was also shared in the early 1900’s when sure blacks were “free” but still got treated like second class citizen’s, many seem to confuse culture with a way of life. Ms. Gallagher’s comment just show’s me everything that I see wrong in politics.  What legal stand point other than religion do we have to deny anyone their pursuit of happiness.  I recall a classmate who stated that she would vote for McCain, for the single purpose that she felt Obama supported gay marriage.  Why do we look at political leaders as saviors of our religious beliefs.  To me this is one of the reasons why change is slow and hard to come by.  To me I don’t see what the big fuss is about, maybe it’s the fact that I live in the New York City and what I’ve come to see in my every day life isn’t the norm for the majority that live outside City limits.  If someone happens to be gay has no baring on whether their a good or bad person.  As for saving the face of Marriage look at the news and tv, a third women has step up to admitting to sleeping with Tiger Woods, now-a-days its not a question of who is stepping out on their marriage, but the next one to be outed, and when.  So why exclude gay’s from this media sensation of marriage.  Statistics show most marriages end up in divorce.  Who am I to stop someone from being happy or at least attempting.  Yeah, as a parent, I struggle to find ways to explain to my son why two guys may be kissing.  Just because its not easy to explain doesn’t make it wrong.  Nor am I offend that the guy who walked by happen to s to undress me with his eyes, my response is thanks but no thanks.

I think Matt has a couple of good points, I didn’t even think gay marriage was going to pass in this state, for some reason the bigger, seemingly more liberally states (like the gayest of them all, California) more on-the-fence when it comes to marriage equality. And there still is and probably will always be a stigma about two man kissing, look at that whole Adam Lambert AMA’s hooplah (if he would have made-out with the girl after dragging her by the leash, there would have been a whole lot less controversy). I can’t see how people speak about the sanctity of marriage when people have drunken nuptials in Vegas every night, only to go to the Quicky Drive-Thru Divorce Hut after $2 lobster at the breakfast buffet. On an equality stand point, I do think that gays are being treated unfairly, but I don’t necessarily needs to be called “marriage.” If civil unions entitle gay people to all the rights that marriage doews for straight people, I don’t see the harm. Maybe “marriage” IS a religious word. We see compromise every day, especially between the church and state, the line , the separation often gets blurry. We saw it a few weeks ago when the ArchDiocese bullied lobbied Congress into removing all abortion coverage in healthcare debate. The same thing with abstinence in schools. There also is a correlation between the way African-Americans were treated in the early 1900s and with gays today, yet it could never be as severe-you can’t hide blackness in the same way you can turn the rainbow off. All-the-same, gays are experiencing second class citizenship now, you can even see it on the airwaves, look at Ellen, Wanda Sykes. We don’t mind gay people entertaining us and making us laugh, but we don’t wanna hear or know about their personal lives. I do admire the tenacity of the defeated tho, they vow to continue fighting and until the law is passed, the same as in California. May they experience all that the straight world has endured. Now this entire process begins again with our neighbors to the west. The gay marriage to hit the New Jersey State Senate floor this week, but if it doesn’t get to the governor’s desk by the end of session, it won’t be passed. Exiting Democratic Governor Corzine agreed to pass the bill if it comes his way, entering Republican Governor Christie vows to veto the measure. What does it say that people’s civil liberties are predicated on political favors and alliances. This is America, 2009.

  1. mciscart
    December 7, 2009 at 6:41 am

    First thanks for putting this up, and I must agree, America My America, Our America, has always, lived with in the grey areas. This in turns has created what I personally call “The blow over effect,” which the main objective is not to solve the problem but cover it, or down play, until it is no longer spoken of. This never does anything, but create bigger issues down the line for the next administration in power whether it be at a state or federal level of government. So, just as you said Core why not just moved away from the religious term of “Marriage” and give the gay community what every one by law is entitled to in My America. The pursuit of happiness. What if going forward all “straight”people instead of getting a marriage license got a civil union papers and left marriage issue,for the church to decide.

  1. January 23, 2010 at 7:22 am

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