Home > Brooklyn, Daily Random, He Must Be A Native, MTA, Only In New York > Van Helsing On The 4 Train

Van Helsing On The 4 Train

November 10, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Sometimes when I’m riding on the train, I see some real aesthetically displeasing people. I’m taking a page from my mother’s book and not use that 4-letter U-word when describing people. As she would say, everyone’s beautiful to someone. I don’t know about all that, but the word ugly leaves no room for descretion, it’s so blunt, I’ll prefer “aesthetically displeasing” or “physically undesireable.” It really bugs me out when Flava Flav’s slightly older less attractive brother walks on the train and he’s wearing a wedding ring. That leaves me simultaneously optimistic and depressed. Apparently there’s someone for everyone, so why am I by myself. There’s also my theory that the Ms. Congeniality’s of the world know when to settle. Then there’s that enigma wrapped in a riddle known as Brooklyn, where Shabba Ranks bruh dates the Stacey Dash mami, go figure. That kind of Hitchcockian humor turns everything on it’s side. That probably explains why Dracula and UnPrecious over there keep looking at me, doing the schoolgirl giggle. I don’t know if one of them are trying to holla or if they’re clowning me, either way, I’m tapping out the ring. Some Brooklyn girls are rough and it’s always the ones that wanna make a scene on the train, too. I think to myself, “no boogies, no slobber, no crust on the sides of my mouth, what are they looking at?…are those moon eyes? Oh, the fear. Fall back Beowolf, you just released the AntiHorny.”

  1. November 10, 2009 at 5:46 am

    “Apparently there’s someone for everyone, so why am I by myself” <~ I ask this same question to myself like twice a month… and still come up w/ nothing. Makes you wonder..

    • November 12, 2009 at 9:42 am

      “Makes you wonder..” <== Still quoting Maroon 5, huh? LOL

  2. dip
    November 10, 2009 at 8:37 am

    lol @ not using ugly. sometimes, thats the only way to describe em tho. anyways, it always BOGGLES my mind when i see the most “aesthetically displeasing” ppl with really good looking people. I wonder if the good looking member of the couple has been “shallow hal’d” and is not seeing what im seeing.. but then theres those ppl who are pretty ugly.. until you get to know them, then they’re ..eh…not attractive, but you dont scream when you see em. LOL anyways.. jus had to add my two cents.. its been a while since i posted sumn. 🙂 PS.. one one the meanest things i’ve ever heard was someone telling an ugly person not to sneak up on them and scare them.. when the person had been sitting there the WHOLE TIMEEEEE… and i know they got that from some comedian, but to hear it behind used in regular conversation.. lmao.

  3. dip
    November 10, 2009 at 8:41 am

    oh snap.. i forgot about the girls.. lmfaoooooo @ “Dracula and UnPrecious” I’m gonna start calling ppl unprecious LOL

  4. November 11, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    *sigh* Think that sums it up……….

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