Home > Delinquency Report, MTA, Only In New York > Go EXORCIST Around Bible-Thumpers

Go EXORCIST Around Bible-Thumpers

Subway SketchDon’t you just hate it when you’re on the train, after a long day of work or on one of those “Zombie  Monday Mornings” you got a seat, you might even be dozing off, and…here it comes: “REPENT, REPENT, you are all sinners, you need Jesus.” Some Bible-thumping lunatic bag lady with a fur coat in July is in the middle of the train car shouting at the top of her lungs about “Matthew 7:1”. When is this ever welcomed? And of course, in our true New York fashion, we just ignore her like she isnt even there-even when she busts out the crucifix and Bag LadyHoly Water.  I always wonder: What are their real jobs? How do they support themselves? Are they on SSI for mental disability and unhireable? I cant stand when someone tries to push their religious beliefs on me- especially when you’re trapped underground on a train. Rather than just sitting there and being judged by ‘Frankie’ for a 20 minute train ride, just “Go Exorcist” when they really get annoying. Go white-eyed,  start convulsing, speaking in tongues. Mimic everything they say. What do you have to lose, there’s 6 more stops left on the train, you’ll never see these people again, it’s funny as hell and they deserve it.  I don’t preach to everyone about my love of cheeseburgers, why can’t they contain themselves? Preach back. I once “preached” the entire AM New York Horoscope and the Celebrity Birthdays section on a D-train one morning when this lady wouldn’t shut the hell up about the Rapture. If she was talking about Anita Baker, I would have been cool…but she wasn’t. It was a Monday, I was feeling like having a Joe Wilson/ Kanye West moment anyway. It perked up my morning, it’ll probably do the same for you. It also works great when the Jehovahs Witnesses knock on your door at 7:36 on a Saturday morning.

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  1. October 12, 2009 at 10:22 am

    Ok so far this is my favorite BLOG of yours!! I was busting out laughing in my office with just the image of you doing the celrbity birthday section.

    • October 12, 2009 at 10:25 am

      Sad to say, I had to pull one of those today.

  2. December 9, 2009 at 3:59 am

    LMFAO! I love this.

    • December 9, 2009 at 5:11 am

      LOL…that was a true #rant, I’d go so heated one day when the Bible-thumper, the bum, the kids selling candy and the mariachi band came in on a tangent…smh #OnlyInNYC

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