Whoring Out Subway Trains To Pay The Bills.2

Apparently the MTA is really following through with this capitol idea. [click picture to read previous post]

Time Square.11.27.09

It is incredibly rare it is to see Time Square completely empty, honestly, I kind of looks different to me right here. When the place is so crowded, you can’t fully appreciated how incredible the buildings are and how small you feel when you’re in the middle of the street. This was the first time I felt the “canyon effect” from being here. This must be how tourists feel when they visit.  NOTE: These pictures were take at 3:37am.

By the way, that McDonald’s is open, but there are halal carts on 44th and 11th, 9th, 8th, 7th and two on 6th and they’lre all out til the wee hours of the morning on Friday and Saturday nights. My dude Mustafa knows the best way to soak up the alcohol from the club is with a lamb/falafel gyro, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, easy on the white sauce o.d. on the hot sauce. (I truly woke up after that sandwich.)

By the way, the guy’s name really was Mustafa, that wasn’t an adlib.

Random NYC Friday Night Drunkness

I truly appreciate the fact that I was born and live in an urban environment. A lot of people aren’t accustomed to getting drunk on the train before a venue, sneaking blunts in the cross streets during midday, 24-hour train service, unlimited rides on the train, being able to sleep while you commute, crowds, 24 hour food, etc…. These kind of things are really invaluable. If I lived down south or so, I would have to run to the club at 10, because it’ll be closed by 2 and hope that the 7/11 has still has chicken fajitas and slim jims at 3am, as I drive there drunk to get there….

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, NYC.1

I call the area around Port Authority, Boulevard Of Broken Dreams. Actually the boulevard literally starts at 30th and 8th ends around 52th, but around the bus terminal is especially seedy and gross. It looks like the shuttle from the Island of Dr. Moreau just let out passengers. I swear, people from all of over America board Greyhound buses with champagne wishes and caviar dreams and get off at 42nd street and all of their hopes dissipate. Some people don’t even leave the area. Runaways, dopefiends and prostitutes, oh my.  It’s sad in an I’m-glad-I-was-born-here kind of way, because this city WILL eat you up and not spit you out.

Pinky And The Brain Conquer 42nd Street

After Brain stole all of Doc Brown’s leftover Plutonium, he used it to power his new experiment that turned Pinky into a human being.  Brain doesn’t trust Pinky enough to do things right, so he has to direct things from the helm. They walk around Times Square plotting world domination and eating Cold Stone’s ice cream. Brain threatens to blow up the Disney Store when he takes offense to a depiction of one of his cousins.

Only in New York City you would find a guy walking around with a white rat on his head. He wasn’t selling anything, it wasn’t an attraction. Dude is just strolling down 42nd Street with Ben on a leash.

Time Square Tourists

“Oh wow, that’s where the New Year’s ball drops”
“Asshole you better move before I step all over you”
Yes the tall buildings are pretty and yeah that is MTV studios at 1515 Broadway, but this is a town on the move-SO MOVE! I can’t tell you how many times a pack of foreigners walking in front of me have abruptly stopped along the crosswalk, while the light’s flashing *walk*, just to take a pic of the skyline or something. I’m a New Yorker and “wait” is a four-letter word-the biggest curse word we know.  The information kiosks around Times Square need to come with walking directions: LOOK FORWARD, DON’T STOP MOVING. Its fun to speed walk through the crowd and watch all of the tourists freeze up like a deer in headlights, then mad-dash to the left  and right.  Even that doesn’t work in December though, holiday shoppers are the worst, the tourists and the natives. It takes like 20 minutes to get past Toys R Us, the ABC Studio and the ESPN Store, and now that Bloomberg’s set up these Pedestrian Mall spaces in the street, I know it’s gonna be even worst this season. I can totally see the family of four from Iowa, sitting on those metal folding chairs, freezing their asses off,sipping on Starbucks in their I LOVE NY hats, shirts, scarves, gloves and fanny packs.