This old ratty-looking guy in The Village had some a astroturf and little picket fence with the House For Sale sign on Sixth Avenue. I really thought he was a bum trying to sell the sidewalk, until I realized he was playing Old School House Music. Sometimes I really crack myself up.
[Queen Latifah "Come Into my House"]
THE WEEKEND! You’re here, I have missed you so much. I wanted to get up early today, so when I saw the clock on the tv say 8:25, I thought I did. But that was Paciific time, I just lost three hours in a split second. At least it’s still morning…
I really don’t think you can get any more NYC than this song, the first line is, “Yo, is New York in the house.” Even thought the video was filmed a couple miles outside the city at Rye Playland, this song is our’s. Mariah made Rye Playland look way more fun than it really is, its like Six Flags-lite. She’s all smiling on the kiddy coaster like something’s really happening- gotta love it. This is Mariah and ODB before they both went “a little too far” in their personal lives. This right here is classic ODB, we’re still using the line, “go back like babies and pacifiers”. And his hook is hilarious, “whatcha gonna do when you get outta jail…I’m gon’ do my remix…”
This is one of the sexiest songs I ever heard in my life. I mean, flustered, blushing, half-horny and everything. When I first heard it my friend said, “just listen,” and I’m going to tell you the same thing. Listening to the words, Taina killed on this one. The chorus is ”You fucking me makes me Bilingual”: ‘nuf said…..
<<<Last Week’s Song<<<>>>Next Week>>>
These lyrics needed to be showcased::
The only aphrodisiac I need is your voice
Hearing you speak my name
Beckoning me to answer
Telling me you want me
So I tell you that you’re the answer to every question I’ve ever had about love Read more…
I have really been slacking when it comes to the healthcare debate. I have grown so apathetic towards Capital Hill, it’s not even funny. The 24 hour cable news channels are definitely to blame. YES, even you CNN. They scramble so hard to find ‘the newest, latest exclusive breaking news, it becomes micro-editing and narrow repetitive reporting. A watched pot never boilers; you can’t expect much change in a story if you follow it on an hourly basis. It’s like a soap opera: don’t watch for two months, Luke and Laura are still arguing, Olympia Snowe’s still playing hard-to-get and Lieberman’s still playing the field. I need to take a giant step back and from the news fodder. I’m waiting debate to really hit the floor. I’m waiting for something to actually get passed. (In the meantime, it’s fake names at the ER and over-the-counter medicine.)
I have noticed so many instances of chicks turning gay after having one kid. I guess they feel accomplished after they do their “womanly duty” at least once. I wonder if these girls were always gay or if these sly “studs” just bagged them up at the exact perfect time. When you see the typical black or spanish lesbian couple on the train, in the city, its always the same combination: a thugged-out, rough Rasheeda/Bertha looking broad (cologne, boxers, armpit hair, the whole nine yards) then the other chick has her hair, nails, eyebrows done, <extra much> looking like Tammy Faye Baker’s ethnic niece. I know opposites attract, but damn. They’re so far apart on the female spectrum, it is a litte like to different genders.
I guess those females with kids came to the realization that their “baby daddy aint doing shit for [me] anyway, [I] might as well get wit a broad” That’s sexy on video, until your ‘shorty’ takes your last tampon or the velcro on the strappy fails. Ladies: good luck with all that, the only thing worst for y’all than a no-good mate is a no-good mate that can’t even lay the pipe right. And fellas beware, like Alice said on The L Word, “..all girs are straight…until they’re not.” So hold on to them chicks, Rasheeda and then are call AGs for a reason (Argessive.) She’ll bag your girl and have your kid calling her daddy-EARLY.
It might sound crazy or antiquated, but the best when you’re in a rush the best way to get through a crowd is to walk directly into oncoming [pedestrian] traffic. Those not from the city might be picturing themselves getting trampled right about now, but it’s nothing like that. Think about it, how is the person in front of you going to know you want to get ahead: they can’t see you. So you spend countless seconds walking like you’re in Downtown Beijing, stepping on people’s heels when you could’ve been where you were going already. “Wait” is truly a four-letter word here, we can’t do it. The New York , New Yorker walks into the oncoming lane of people and knowing how ‘real recognizes real,’ everyone moves accordingly…the not-so-natives freeze up like deers in headlight and that’s where the trampling imagery comes from.
I’m pretty sure that everyone’s familiar with M.I.A. now aka “Missing In Acton” aka Maya Arulpragasam. Everyone knows “Paper Planes”, the song went viral, whether it was from the Pineapple Express promos or her Grammy appearance at nine months pregnant. Where were y’all three, four years ago around the time of Arular, Bucky Done Gun Sunshowers and Galang. Even before that, the EP, Piracy Funds Terrorism. Those two albums are a lot the same, Arular is like the refined version of PFT. Part of the reason Americans were so clueless about M.I.A. Fame for so long is because Bush and his Bushiness- damn douche. The previous administration refused to grant her a Visa to enter the country saying that her father, Arul Pragasam, was on the Terrorist Watchlist for associating with Sri Lanka’s Tamil Tigers decades before. Lame, I know. M.I.A.’s second studio album, Kala, was supposed to be predominantly produced by Timbaland, unfortunately they were only able to collaborate on one song.
This is definitely not the last M.I.A. post, it’s so serious, I’m not even a fan anymore, I’m a “devotee,” the title should read “International Artist Of The Millennium.” Now the M.I.A. lives in Bk, I consider her a New Yorker as well, that’s where the Paper Planes video was shot.
This is the scene I see every morning on my way to work. I’m on the Manhattan Bridge, leaving Manhattan for Brooklyn- how wrong is that. It’s like leaving Chili for Tamika Foster.
Downtown Manhattan looks so beautiful under the blue sky, if you look closely (on the left), you can see the Statue Of Liberty beyond the Brooklyn Bridge, all the way down the harbor.
Try not to go shopping around the first of the month. Supermarkets jack up their prices around that time because they know there’s going to be an influx of people shopping using the money they received from government benefits (Social Security and Welfare, unempliyment is weekly, etc.) The best time to shop is between the 10th and the 20th. This one might apply to the whole nation, not just New York, but I can’t speak for them… Damn, I gotta go shopping this weekend.
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Why don’t people move all the way in to the train car when they enter? People are so preoccupied with quickly getting out at the train stop, they don’t realize they’re creating a bottleneck at the doors, slowing down the train. ‘Realize’ isn’t the right word, people who do that know exactly what they’re doing, it’s cocky New Yorkness at its core. People block the doors because they want to be the last in the car, the one that leans against the doors and they’ll be first to get oiut at their stop.
It can be so funny sometimes when the areas around the doors look like the huddle masses of Ellis Island, but at the center of the car me and three friends are doing the Electric Slide.
I was just in a train car where I was unable to move for 110 blocks, but the guy jumping for Jesus in the center of the car was walking in circles….and I couldn’t even do anything about it because I was stuck (Earth Wind And Fire’s three songs played round and round and I couldn’t do anything about it.) Besides, I wasn’t that eager to hear rhetoric before 9 anyway.
Yup! Like the title says: “free;” there are still some things you can get in New York City without shelling out any beans. Most banks have little coffee areas in their main lobbies, I know Bank Of America, HSBC and Chase usually do it- up until about 1 pm, also. Don’t worry about it not being your bank or not having an actual debit card. Just walk to one of the ATM machines, swipe your metrocard and intently stare at the welcome screen for about 30 seconds, look frustrated and walking away. Then take your cup of coffee and call it a day.
CLICK HERE to see full list of NYC Recessionist’s tips
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